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| Newsletter | Inspiration, Insight & Information
October 2011 | |
| OVERCOMING SEXUAL ADDICTION |
By James L. Alexander, LCSW, CSOTP
The phenomenon of sexual addiction has been well described by Patrick Carnes, Ph.D., who first popularized the idea in 1983. The outpouring of books on the subject from both secular and Christian writers has been tremendous. Unfortunately, the common sense approach to healing is often reserved for the latter chapters or pages in these books. In this article, I would like to share what I have learned about practical steps toward healing for this problem which I gained over the last 25 years as a significant part of my practice as a Christian psychotherapist.
There are many formulas and prescriptions for healing from sexual compulsion (my preferred term). The seven essentials discussed below are found in one form or another in most schemas for healing.
1) A willingness to let God in and the consequent opening of a person to God's Holy Spirit is the first step. Many Christian men and women begin healing with this kind of surrender only to be frustrated by relapse. Keep reading!
2) Practicing the spiritual disciplines which include prayer, meditation, Scripture study, fasting, confession and many others which restores our brain circuitry and our soul to a right relationship to God. The men I have worked with who "do the disciplines" seem to have more and longer lasting strength in overcoming "the sins of the flesh" than do those who seek a quick fix. (See Romans 12:21)
3) Physical exercise tires the body and perhaps, more importantly, focuses the spiritual mind. Hint:The professionally managed gym with its inevitable cadre of well sculpted bodies is not useful for many men.
4) God's gift of the "positive pleasures" outlined by C.S. Lewis in his classic, The Screwtape Letters, gives us full indulgence in positive, healthy, life-affirming practices. Screwtape (the devil) instructs his apprentice in ways to subtly undermine a Christian's view of pleasure. Lewis' point is that enjoyment of non-sinful pleasure helps the Christian to be somewhat immune from temptation. (See Philippians 4:8)
5) Group and/or individual accountability (see confession) creates an opportunity for one who struggles with lust to receive prayer and active support from a "band of brothers." Hint:Having a spouse act as an accountability partner is not recommended.
6) Eliminate access to lust as much as possible. The ability of computer virus protection programs allow safety settings to be password protected by an accountability partner or spouse. If the struggler is a computer genius, I recommend a "spy ware" program called Spectre Pro. Some software such as Covenant Eyes, Safe Eyes generate a report about websites visited and their content to an accountability person.
7) Psychotherapy for childhood issues may be required for those who suffer from childhood trauma or excessive shame and guilt.
One of the most difficult areas in overcoming the hurt from sexual compulsion is the harm it does to the emotional and physical intimacy of married couples. On November 4 and 5, 2011, Meier Clinics Fairfax will be offering a one-weekend intensive workshop, Recovering Together,to address the needs of couples for whom the discovery of pornography compulsion or extramarital affairs has become a major problem. Please contact the Meier Clinics in Fairfax, VA, at 703-383-8333 for more information about this weekend.
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 Jim Alexander is a Licensed Clinical Social Worker at Meier Clinics in Fairfax, VA. He has been treating individuals, couples and families for a wide variety of mental health issues for more than 30 years. He currently serves as Board Chairman for Restoration Ministries, DC, an organization which seeks to bring mental health and Christian healing to underage victims of sex-trafficking in the DC metro area. He and his wife, Barbara, are currently enjoying an empty nest.
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The Ultimate Prize
By Bev Henry, LCSW
The Stanley Cup, that most coveted prize of hockey, was recently won by the Boston Bruins in the city of Vancouver, where the Vancouver Canucks were favored to win. The victors proudly passed the cup from player to player as they celebrated by kissing it and lifting it high for the world of hockey fans to see-a sought after reward for being the best in their sport!
We see the same striving for the ultimate prize in other sports, as well-a World Series ring in baseball, a Super Bowl ring in football, the World Cup in soccer, etc. Olympians strive for the gold. Races of all kinds have a prize-a medal, a blue ribbon-something to strive for.
As I watched the Stanley Cup celebration on TV, I couldn't help but think how fleeting that moment of glory is and how it pales in comparison to the ultimate prize-the crown of glory reserved in heaven for believers. Are we keeping our eyes on the ultimate goal, or are we caught up in striving for prizes that won't last?
Rev. 3:10 tells us to "be faithful unto death and I will give you the crown of life." That's the prize worth pursuing. Let's keep our eyes on the ultimate goal so we can join Paul in saying, "I have fought the good fight, I have finished the race, I have kept the faith." Then we will receive the crown of righteousness, waiting in heaven for us.
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 Bev Henry is a retired school social worker and therapist. She currently works part-time in the counseling department at Focus on the Family (FOTF). For more information about FOTF, call 800-A FAMILY or visit www.focusonthefamily.com.
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Meier Clinics
Specialty Programs
- Day Program for Adults is available at the following Meier Clinics: Wheaton, IL; Richardson, TX; Fairfax, VA; Bothell, WA.
- Sexual Addiction Intensive Outpatient for Adults (Pathway to Freedom) at Meier Clinics in Richardson, TX.
- After-school Intensive Outpatient Program for Teens (Breakaway) at Meier Clinics in Wheaton, IL.
- Chemical Dependency Intensive Outpatient Program for Adults offered at Linden Oaks Hospital in Naperville, IL. Meier Clinics staff provide a Christian track.
- Residential Care for Women and Teens at Timberline Knolls in Lemont, IL, with a Christian track led by Meier Clinics staff.
For additional information about these programs, visit our website at www.meierclinics.org or give us a toll free call at 888-7 CLINIC (888-725-4642). |
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Co-Occurring Disorders in College Age Students
College is meant to be a time of growth and change, defined by wonderful new experiences a young woman will remember for the rest of her life. Regrettably, too many college women today are getting caught up in eating disorders and alcohol abuse that not only threatens the present, but can vastly alter the course of their lives.
Although the average age of eating disorder onset is 14, the next most "at risk" population is young college women. This is due to all that college represents and entails: stress, unique challenges, feelings of vulnerability or loneliness, high academic expectations, new environment and social structure, and the greatest change of all, freedom from parents. For most college freshmen, this is the first time they've lived away from home. Amidst such pressure, an eating disorder can easily take hold, especially if the young woman is already predisposed by virtue of genetics, perfectionism, high achievement in academics or sports, peer pressure, etc.
"The combined stress of college and a predisposition for an eating disorder can create the perfect storm," said Jacqueline Dauw, MA, LPC, Eating Disorder Specialist at Timberline Knolls. "Women that have struggled with food or body image issues in the past may find that college exacerbates these problems, as there may be pressure from family to excel, social expectations based on the culture of the college or university, and academic stressors."
Seeking help is critical for those who need it. Recognizing that education is fundamental in curbing the escalation of eating disorders, addictions, co-occurring disorders and more, workshops and seminars are provided on college campuses around the country. To locate support or help, health services on college campuses is one of the best places to contact.
Timberline Knolls is a residential treatment center for females, ages 12 and older, nestled in a wooded area in a southwestern suburb of Chicago. Meier Clinics provides Christian counseling services for those residents who request it. For more information about this wonderful facility and program, call 877-257-9611 or visit www.timberlineknolls.com. |
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Time for a Touch Down!
Many people are sitting on the sidelines of life. They question if they will ever get back in the game. The National Institute of Mental Health provides us with some sobering statistics: an estimated 22.1% of Americans 18 years and older (that is over 44 million adults) suffer from a diagnosable mental disorder in a given year; mental health disorders account for four of the top ten causes of disability in established market economies; and more than 90% of people who commit suicide have a diagnosable mental disorder, most commonly a depressive or substance abuse disorder. Untreated mental health disorders affect every area of a person's life and also has a tremendous impact on family members, friends, employers and the economy. People are too often benched as they do not have the resources to get the help they need.
Meier Clinics has the coaches ready to help people get back in the game, but we can't do it alone. We need loyal supporters willing to help with a financial donation. Let's get on the same team and all work together towards making some touchdowns!
All contributions to Meier Clinics Foundation are tax deductible within IRS regulations. There are three easy ways to donate:
Mail: MCF, 2100 Manchester Rd., Ste. 1510, Wheaton, IL 60187-4561
Phone: 800-848-8872
E-mail: www.meierclinics.org |
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". . .Those who hope in the Lord will renew their strength.
They will soar on wings like eagles; they will run and not grow weary,
they will walk and not be faint."
Isaiah 40:31
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Thank you for taking time out of your day to read our newsletter. We hope it has been  encouraging and helpful. If you would like more information about Meier Clinics and how we might be of service to you, please call us at 888-7CLINIC to be directed to the Meier Clinics nearest you or visit us at www.meierclinics.org.
Sincerely,
Sandy Newport, Editor
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